Christian and I started our search during our first year and, like the good graduate students we were, immediately found …a bunch of really weird crap. And the stuff that wasn’t weird was way out of my price range.
Adopting was an option, but I’d be renting, with zero assets, and barely making enough money to pay my bills much less spend thousands on an adoption through a private agency.
I could adopt through social services. That one was interesting but I was still looking to have the experience of pregnancy…and I wasn’t entirely sure I’d be able to bond with someone else’s child. It was completely uncharted territory, much like everything else. So I made a note and kept searching.
Next was online dating. The least expensive of the options and, in retrospect, the least viable.
Then we found something intriguing. Sperm banks. The tried and true resource for families everywhere that wanted a baby and didn’t have access to the “traditional route.”
Now, I know the first thing I thought was….the turkey baster method? Really?
It was a lot to wrap my head around but we were quickly caught up in the idea of being able to shop for donors and completely avoid the anxiety of any future custody battles should a relationship not work out and. I mean, we’re therapists, we know how badly a relationship can go.
Needless to say, the more I thought about it, the more appealing the option began. But, it wasn’t a journey I was ready to start while still in grad school. So I tabled the sperm bank option and rewound to online dating.
What a mess that turned out to be…